While Visions of Sugarplums danced in their Heads

Grab Those Sugarplums While You Can!

We’re down to the last few kilometers in the Christmas madness marathon!

I made the mistake of going out to Wal-Mart this Saturday afternoon to buy a few last minute stocking stuffers. I know, I know, what was I thinking? Blame it on my poor sick mother who needed me to get groceries for her at the supermarket up on Kelsey drive that just happens to be right next door to Wally World. Hey, she needed a new topper for her Christmas tree, okay?

The lure of “everyday low prices” drew me like a siren song as I swung into the shopping district and studiously avoided looking for a parking space in front of the Sobeys Superstore, and instead spied a prime open spot almost in front of Wal-Mart’s front door. Karma, right?

The greeter smiled at me as I breezed in through the portal, the doors opening wide, welcoming me as if I was shopping royalty. She reached for a shopping cart to help launch me into high gear procurement mode, but there wasn’t a four wheeled plum picker in sight. I could see way down in the back of the parking lot, a scrawny little dude remote-controlling the Polar Express of all blue shopping carts, across the tarmac. I couldn’t watch as mothers towing toddlers and little old ladies in walkers scurried out of the way to avoid being mowed down. Luckily for me, a chivalrous exiting shopper offered me his tender, so off I went on my quest for deep discount prices.

My first stop was the candy department, conveniently located right inside the front door, offering every sort of confection known to man. I hunted through the shelves, grabbing all the family favorites; After Eight Mints, Chocolate covered Cherries, Turtles, Hershey Kisses and those Luscious Belgian Chocolate Lindor Truffles, of which they only had the hazelnut kind left. Oh well.

I don’t know what it is about the week before Christmas that puts you in panic mode, shopping. I’m not sure if it’s the pressure of the seemingly endless to-do list of tasks still to be completed, or the fear that you don’t have enough stuff bought to fill the bottomless stockings, but there is this feral frenzy that comes over you to buy. Before I knew it, my cart was full of socks and underwear, a velour track suit for Nanny, a fluffy pink bathrobe, some wrapping paper, and a three foot light up Darth Vader lawn ornament, along with the aforementioned candy and chocolates.

I stopped to admire the trinkets in glass cases at the jewellery department and when I turned around, some middle aged dude was picking through the stuff I had stowed in my cart! When I turned on him with the territorial zeal of a rabid German Sheppard, he backed off apologetically, smarting from the glower that was radiating off my countenance. I must have made an impression on him, because when I queued up behind him in the checkout line, he once again apologized for his mistake. I might have forgiven him if his wife hadn’t picked up the last two packages of milk chocolate Lindor truffles on the rack in the checkout aisle. Crap!

Well, the spirit of Christmas must have shone down upon me as I neared the cashier, forty minutes later as the shopping cart snooper’s wife decided at the last minute to leave the Lindor chocolate behind, and I triumphantly scooped them up and added them to my pile of schwag. Happily, I gloated as the cashier rang up my purchases and even managed to remain standing when she finally read out the total of $429.98! Will that be cash or charge? Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!